Today was a difficult day for me. I found myself feeling nauseous and physically uncomfortable for reasons I couldn’t quite pinpoint. My body felt out of sync, and I couldn’t understand why it was acting this way. I kept reminding myself to breathe, to calm down, and to let go of the overthinking and lingering pain I’ve been holding onto since my separation from my wife last year.

I’m still trying to make sense of why my body reacts so intensely sometimes—why emotions and racing thoughts seem to take over. But deep down, I know I have to accept the reality that our relationship is truly over. It’s likely that she’s moved on and perhaps even found someone new. That thought cuts deep, and I won’t deny that it leaves me feeling incredibly sad and low. But at this point, I realize I have no choice but to learn how to let go and make peace with it in time.

Even though I’m working on acceptance, I can’t help but hope that one day we’ll reconnect and rebuild something meaningful as friends. I miss her presence, her laughter, and all the little things we used to do together. I understand that she needs space and time, but I often wonder—when will the right time come for us to talk and be friends again?

I felt a wave of sadness today when I realized she’s no longer active on Facebook. I had this strange, sinking feeling, and when I checked, I was right—she’s gone from there. I couldn’t help but wonder if it’s because she didn’t want pictures of us together out there anymore, and that thought crushed me. I just pray that’s not the case, and that her decision wasn’t meant to erase the memories we once shared.

I’ve been practicing visualization, imagining myself in a good place emotionally, where I can genuinely appreciate her as a friend with love and care. I hope that one day we can rebuild trust and lay a strong foundation for a friendship rooted in respect and understanding.

This journey is hard, but I’m trying to hold onto hope.