Have you ever experienced grief so heavy it shakes the core of your being? The kind that lingers in your heart, making every breath feel heavier?

For me, the deepest grief has come in two forms—losing someone I love to death and losing someone I love to separation. Divorce was never supposed to be part of my story. I grew up believing it was a curse, a stigma that haunted my family for generations. My father left when I was just four or five. I told myself I would never walk the same path. But life had other plans.

In May 2024, I had to let go of the person I loved most in the world. Though we haven’t filed for divorce yet, our separation is real. I grieve because I know I won’t have her back, no matter how much I love her. And yet, I chose to honor her wishes—to give her the space she needed, the peace she sought. Even if it meant breaking my own heart in the process.

Then, as if one grief wasn’t enough, 2025 came with more loss. I lost friends—beautiful souls—to cancer, strokes, and other health issues. The weight of their absence hit me hard. And in my darkest moments, I caught myself wondering: What if I could take their place? Maybe then I could finally rest, finally escape the ache of everything I’ve lost.

But grief, as suffocating as it feels, has also forced me to see what’s still here. My family is alive. My story isn’t over. And no matter how many challenges life throws my way, I must keep going.

I don’t have all the answers. I still grieve. I still ache. But I am learning—learning to live through loss, to accept what I cannot change, and to find meaning in what remains. Because even in the midst of sorrow, life is still calling me forward. And I have to answer.