For ten years, my soon to be ex wife and I traveled together—excited to explore new places and collect new memories. Every trip felt like magic. We had our routines, our favorite snacks, and even shared laughs over getting lost on the road. That life felt full.

After we separated, that full feeling disappeared.

It was so hard to go out. Everything reminded me of them—restaurants, road signs, even some ASL songs on the radio. I knew I still loved them, but there was nothing I could do to change the past. I had to face it, feel it, and somehow move through it.

So I took a trip. San Diego, California!

I revisited places we once loved and spent time with some friends. I smiled at the beauty. I cried at the memories. I let it all come. And that’s when I realized: my emotional triggers weren’t just obstacles. They were reminders. Of what I loved. Of what I survived. Of what shaped me.

Now, I practice breathing through the hard moments.

When I see their name pop up, I pause and take five slow breaths.

When I walk by our favorite place, I breathe again. I ground myself. I remind myself: Its okay Its okay!

And I’m starting to feel… different.

More accepting.

More compassionate.

More present.

Triggers are part of healing. I’m learning to embrace them—not avoid them. Because in those moments, I get the chance to be gentle with myself. And with each breath, I’m becoming someone more whole.

Still grieving. Still healing. But also still growing.

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If you’re reading this and going through something similar…

1. What triggers are you noticing in your own life?

2. How do you respond—fight, freeze, flee, or breathe?

3. Is there a way you can pause and be gentler with yourself next time?

4. What have your triggers taught you about your strength or your love?

You’re not alone. Keep going. You’re becoming.

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